Many Western men who've traveled throughout Asia swear that Thailand has the most beautiful women of any Asian country. I can't disagree with this notion, as some of the most gorgeous Asian girls I've ever been with have been Thai.
It's no surprise then that every year, thousands of guys board planes to Thailand to try to find the girlfriend of their dreams, or to pursue relationships with Thai girls whom they met on the Internet. Often times, these guys feel unappreciated and unloved in their own countries, and desire a relationship with a "traditional" Asian woman who will treat them with care and respect. They believe that Thai girls hold the key to their happiness.
In addition to being slim and sexy, Thai girls are known to be graceful, charming and extremely feminine...
And when you add their exotic looks and smiling, friendly nature, the effect that Thai girls have on Western men can be
mesmerizing.
However, as easy as it is to fall under the "spell" of an exotic, sensual Thai beauty, you must also be aware of some realities, and practice caution.
Your first relationship with a Thai girl can be an intense roller-coaster ride of emotions unlike anything you've ever experienced in your own country. For many Western guys, it's the most ecstatic time of their lives. Especially for those who suffered for years in unhappy marriages with Western women.
Relationships with Thai girls, however, can also be fraught with frustrations and problems. It is crucial for you to understand some things about Thai girls and their culture before you attempt to meet the Thai girl of your dreams or get involved in a serious relationship.
In order to help you gain a better understanding of Thai girls and how to maximize your chances of a happy relationship (while avoiding the common mistakes), I want to give you ten rules to keep in mind.
10. The culture gap is wider than you know. Most "farangs" (this is the word Thais use for foreigners) head to Thailand with the belief that Thai girls are basically small, cute, brown-skinned versions of Western women. This is far from the truth. Thai culture is profoundly different from the way we think and behave in the Western world.
Thai girls have different attitudes about many aspects of life, including relationships, love, marriage, sex, money and morality.
The Thai brain is wired differently than the Western brain. We tend to think in a binary fashion: we'll answer "yes" or "no" when asked a question, and things are either "true" or "false." But in Thailand, things tend to be true to "a lesser or greater degree." There are many shades of gray.
Thai girls will often tell you what you want to hear rather than risk offending you or starting a confrontation.
Thai culture, which is rooted in Buddhism, is passive and the unforgivable sin isn't lying -- it's losing your cool. This is why Thailand is referred to as "The Land Of Smiles." It's not that they don't get pissed off just as we do; it's that they're very good at concealing it.
While this laidback, non-confrontational attitude may sound like a refreshing change from dealing with loud, dramatic Western women, it can also cause frustration and confusion when you are dealing with Thai girls. The only way for you to really understand Thai women and what's going through their mind when they behave a certain way is for you to spend time with them. I'll explain this more in a moment.
9. Don't look for love in the wrong places. Thailand's nightlife and red-light districts are legendary and notorious. Many farangs naturally want to explore the bars, nightclubs and massage parlors in areas like Bangkok and Pattaya. You can expect to have the wildest time of your life -- your average American stripper would be shocked and amazed at what goes on in these venues on a nightly basis! While they can be a blast, the problem occurs when guys fall in love (or lust) with the "bar girls" who work in these places.
Any expat who's spent a considerable amount of time in Thailand could fill a book with the pathetic train-wreck tales he's heard about Western guys who plunged into relationships with Thai bargirls, only to be left heartbroken and financially drained. This is because despite their sweet, friendly exterior and their ability to give you nights of passion and sexual excitement that most guys in the West can only dream of, these girls can be more cunning and scheming that you could ever imagine.
In Thailand, it's a common sight to see some fat, poorly dressed farang strolling down the street hand-in-hand with some drop-dead-sexy Thai girl. This is because even the most unattractive, socially awkward foreigner can land himself a sexy younger "girlfriend" by hanging out in the bars and spending money.
But the relationship will forever be based on how much money he is willing to spend. As soon as he stops opening his wallet to grant her requests for financial help, or a more attractive offer comes along, she will drop him like a bad habit.
My point is, if you want to walk on the wild side, have fun with the naughty Thai girls. But don't get emotionally involved. Don't look for love in the bars; these "romances" are based on money and are an illusion.
8. Use the Internet as a tool, not as the only answer. The Internet can be an amazing tool for meeting Thai girls; if you join certain Asian dating sites, you'll never have any shortage of young, cute Thai women to chat with. For some guys, it becomes addictive; their social lives are reduced to spending hours on the Internet every night chatting with women on the other side of the world, who are happy to flirt with them on their Webcams and give them attention.
But you should be using the Internet to set up MEETS with women, not to carry on long-distance love affairs with women you've never met in person. You cannot successfully conduct a relationship with a Thai girl from thousands of miles away.
If you seriously want to pursue relationships with Thai girls you meet on the Internet, the only way to determine whether you've found "the one" is for you to go to Thailand and spend time there with her. And I'm not talking about flying to Bangkok for ten days; you need to get to know her, meet her family (more on that in a moment), and ideally, do some traveling with her. See some other areas of Thailand. Not only will you learn more about her country and culture, but taking a girl on a trip is a good way to find out how compatible you are with each other.
There are a number of reasons why you need to spend time with her in person. One is that very often a Thai girl will say she doesn't have a boyfriend (and she will define the term "boyfriend" however it suits her)...but if she's young and attractive, it is highly unlikely that she is not sleeping with anyone else at the moment. Chances are she has a Thai boyfriend or lover lurking in the background, or other foreigners (yes, guys just like you) who are chatting with her online and believe THEY are her exclusive "boyfriend."
All of the Thai girls you meet online (and in the bars) will SAY they are single. But this is often not the reality. Despite how honest and sincere she seems, there would very well be two, three or more other foreigners who believe they are her "one and only." In fact, one of them could be on their way to Bangkok International Airport to see her right now...but never in a million years will she admit this to you.
If you want to meet a variety of Thai girls and find one to marry, then your best bet is to go to Thailand and live there for at least six months. Don't get sucked into the bar scene. Learn about the culture. Study the language. You can easily meet Thai girls every day, simply by being friendly. You'll find beautiful Thai girls all over the place -- at restaurants, in the coffee shops, and strolling around at the mall. (The malls in Thailand are absolutely loaded with cute women.)
Another important bit of advice: if your goal is to meet wholesome, respectable Thai girls, don't spend all of your time hanging out in the places that Westerners frequent. The Thai girls who hang out in the "foreigner" bars and discos are usually looking for one thing: money. Sure, they'd like to find a foreigner boyfriend, but mainly as a means of ongoing financial support.
You can have a lot of fun in these places, but the "good" Thai girls wouldn't be caught dead hanging out in one of these rowdy joints. They would consider it shameful, "cheap" behavior.
The bottom line is, when it comes to meeting Thai girls, don't be lazy. Many farangs, once they experience the bar scene and realize they only need to whip out their wallet to sleep with the girl of their choice, forget about trying to meet and date "normal" Thai girls. In many cases, these guys wind up becoming jaded and bitter after being lied to and hustled by girl after girl. They start to think that the girls who work in the bars are representative of Thai women in general. This is no more accurate than to say that the hookers who work the streets in your town are the same as the female students at your local university.
7. Don't get into a "financial sponsorship" arrangement too soon. In your own country, if a woman you just started dating asked you to give her a weekly allowance, you'd probably look at her like she was some gold-digging nutjob. But when it comes to Thai girls, guys are quick to rush in and try to "lock down" a girlfriend by supporting her (and by extension, supporting her family; most of the money you give her will wind up getting funneled to her family).
A "good girl" will be too shy to make such financial requests. Bargirls or hustlers will be much more aggressive about this, since they are viewing you as nothing more than an ATM machine on two legs. These girls have had enough experience with horny farangs to know that most foreigners won't stick around for long. Therefore, the girls want to get as much cash from them as quickly as possible.
If she comes to you with a specific request (she needs money for her school, to help a sick family member, etc), always take it with a grain of salt. If you haven't met her yet and these requests are coming over the Internet, you can be 99% sure that she's making it up and you're far from the first foreigner to hear this sob story.
(You'd be surprised how many bargirls, who are sleeping with a new foreigner every night, have foreigners in other countries sending them money for their "school" and other fictional expenses.)
If you don't believe me, watch what happens when you politely explain that you can't send her money right now, as you have your own bills and expenses to worry about. This will probably be the last time she ever contacts you! She'll be busy searching for her next "sponsor" (read: sucker).
That being said, don't be a cheapskate. If you start dating a girl in Thailand and you're enjoying the relationship, my advice is to treat her well. Buy her little gifts occasionally. Thai girls don't like cheap guys, and if a guy isn't spending any money on her, she'll take that to mean that he doesn't sincerely care about her.
The good news is, maintaining a nice Thai girlfriend will only cost you a small fraction of what you'd need to spend on a Western girlfriend. (NOTHING is more expensive than getting married to the wrong lady in the West!) Your average Thai girl will be thrilled if you simply take her and her friends out some for some cheap Thai food and karaoke. If you're feeling generous or it's a special occasion, like her birthday, buy her a new cell phone and she'll be ecstatic.)
If she begins making financial requests early in the relationship -- and particularly if these requests involve money to help "dying relatives" -- you are almost certainly dealing with a scammer. Good Thai girls are too shy and respectful to even broach this subject. Remember, long before you came into her life, her family always found ways to get through emergencies. (In reality, these "emergencies" she tells you about are usually just a way to get money to loan to family members that are badgering her.)
6. Don't ignore red flags. Foreigners who become smitten with Thai girls often go into a strange state of denial. They will tell their friends, "My girl is different," even though she is exhibiting the same behavior as any other Thai bargirl or scammer.
In Thailand, relationships tend to be volatile and filled with drama. Most Thai girls, by the time they're reached their mid-twenties, have had their hearts broken by a Thai man or been left to raise children on their own. As a result, they adopt a "never put all your eggs in one basket" philosophy. While she is pledging her undying love to you, she's keeping herself open to other offers -- and perhaps staying in contact with other foreigners who are currently out of the country, but will be coming back to see her again.
When you notice that she is behaving suspiciously, don't bury your head in the sand and ignore it. Strange cell phone behavior (i.e. receiving text messages and phone calls at all hours of the night, and going into another room to talk to someone) is usually a sign that she has some other "farang boyfriend" who is checking up on her.
(If this dude has been sending her money, she won't dare ignore his texts and calls for fear of losing that income stream.)
You can't ever expect her to come clean and admit the nature of her "friendships" with other guys. She will deny everything until the bitter end. If it's her nature to be untruthful, you'll never know how deep the lies really go.
Another common "red flag" to watch out for is extreme jealousy. Women are jealous by nature, but if you get involved with the wrong Thai girl you may witness behavior that crosses the line into "psychotic." Cut these girls loose. You're not going to change them or placate them; you're only heading down a dangerous road that defeats the whole purpose of you being in Thailand and dating Asian women in the first place.
5. Set ground rules. Never assume that she has the same ideas as you do about what constitutes a healthy relationship. Thai women are naturally going to assume that if you're going out for drinks with the boys, you're going to cheat on them. This is because farangs in Thailand have a (well-deserved) reputation for sleeping around. If you want to maintain your independence and have time to yourself, you've got to establish this up front -- and be firm.
Otherwise, she'll want to spend 24 hours a day with you and will bombard your phone with text messages whenever you want to spend an evening without her.
You need to draw a line in the sand about what is acceptable, and unacceptable, to you. If she can't abide by your rules, then end the relationship. You're in Thailand because you want to exercise your right to be a man -- so act like one! It's amazing to me how many guys go to Thailand to be "free men" and escape the demands of high-maintenance Western women -- and then shack up with a Thai girlfriend and allow themselves to be controlled and dominated.
4. If the relationship ends, make a clean break. If your relationship with a Thai girl isn't working out and it's time to cut her loose, be firm and decisive. Don't drag it out, and don't take the bait when she keeps trying to contact you to see "how you are doing."
After the breakup, she will probably continue trying to contact you via text messages, emails or phone calls. Strangely, I've broken up with Thai girls and still received random texts and calls from them two years later! The best way I've heard it described is that when a Thai girl stops dating a guy, the relationship isn't really "finished" in her mind -- it's more like he goes into a state of "suspended animation." She'll go on to her next relationship, but she'll occasionally "ping" her former boyfriends to check on them and maintain communication. A hustler who has the number of 50 foreigners programmed into her cell phone has 50 potential ways to put some money in her pocket.
3. Get to know her friends and family. Thai girls (and Asian women in general) have very close ties to their family and close friends, and they are a reflection of the type of person that she is. If you're only interested in a casual sexual relationship, and you don't see it getting serious, there's no need to meet her family and you should actually avoid doing so (since this can lead to all kinds of financial requests). But if you're serious about her, then you should meet her family sooner rather than later.
When you do meet them, notice how they treat you. Are they warm and gracious, or do they act indifferent towards you? Do they ask you questions about yourself and include you in the conversation, or are they just interested in you picking up the check for them to eat and drink?
You should never consider marrying a Thai girl until you've seen her family home. This might mean traveling a long distance to the province where she is from. If you met her in a place where Westerners hang out and suspect she may have been a "working girl" (sleeping with foreigners for money), her family situation can be very revealing.
If the family has no means of income, yet they're able to sit around the house all day watching television and eating and drinking to their heart's content, then your honey has probably been supporting them with the money she earns from foreigners. And now that you've taken her "off the market," guess who will be expected to pick up the financial burden for the family?
Her friends are another indicator of her true personality and lifestyle. Good girls and "working girls" do not hang out together. While your girl may seem like a sweetheart and tells you she's "not like the other girls," if her friends dress like hookers and are out at the disco every night, then you need to assume that your girl is essentially the same as her friends and screwing around with a bunch of different foreigners -- she just does a better job of masking it.
2. Don't get too serious, too quickly. I've known guys who met a Thai girl online, flew into Bangkok, and were literally married and on their honeymoon within a week. It can work out; hey, anything is possible. But no matter how you slice it, this is a stupid and reckless thing to do.
If you are seriously thinking about marrying a Thai girl, I would suggest living with her for at least six months before taking it to the next step. This should be enough time for any serious "red flags" to surface. If she has other lovers or guys sending her money, you might not detect this within a week or two. But over a period of months, either the truth will emerge, or you can proceed with your relationship with confidence.
1. Sample the menu before making any commitments. If you're new to Thailand and have the means to live there for a year, my advice is to date a variety of girls. Get to know the culture. That first girl you met on the Internet, back when you were lonely and eager to find a girlfriend, might quickly become a distant memory once you start dating other Thai girls who are even better-looking and more fun to be with. The "slow and steady" approach is always best -- not only with Thai girls, but with any girl, for that matter.
Your long-term happiness is at stake. Don't rush it -- and enjoy the ride!
P.S. Do you want to download our FREE 75-page book, filled with the hottest tactics for approaching women and picking up girls? Just click below and download your free copy of THE S.W.A.T GUIDE (Secret Weapons & Seduction Tactics!)
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